OP ED
If the above phrase sounds familiar to you, it’s because you’ve seen it a thousand times in direct mail offers in your mailbox. It’s the opening of what copywriters call “the lift letter.” According to my friend, direct-mail guru Denny Hatch, the lift letter device was dreamed up by copywriter Paul Michael, who worked for Greystone Press, publishers of books on home maintenance, gardening, car repair, and the like. Their direct mail offers always included a free book with no obligation on the part of the recipient.
Along with a letter from the publisher, full-color descriptive brochures and a response card, Michael included a lift letter--a small piece of notepaper folded once. On the outside was the tantalizing message, “Read this only if you have decided NOT to respond to this offer.” Inside--in gracefully flowing script--the headline of the note led off with Frankly, I'm Puzzled . . . It went on to say that the publisher couldn’t understand why the recipient wasn’t going to send for the free book when, it was really, really free.
So-called because it was intended to “lift” (increase) response to a direct-mail offer, the lift letter succeeded beyond everyone’s wildest dreams and has become a fixture of direct mail. So, here’s a tip of the hat to Mr. Michael for providing me with an addition to my Library of Useful Words and Phrases.
Frankly, I’m puzzled why Croton is sponsoring a “workshop” on Wednesday, January 27, 2010, the purpose of which, according to a news release issued by the Village, is “to gather public input regarding the future development potential of the Village-owned parking lot at the Croton-Harmon Station, including development of a parking structure for transit patrons.” The report has not yet been delivered. Cynics may see the workshop’s purpose as a delaying tactic to keep the parking garage from being a factor in the upcoming election.
According to the same news release, the study includes “a look at (1) market demand for commuter parking, (2) geotechnical conditions under the existing surface lot, (3) financial feasibility analysis for funding and operating a structure, and (4) design concepts for a potential parking structure at the Croton-Harmon Train Station. This study will also review the overall site to produce a master parking plan addressing how future work can improve traffic flow, enhance safety, and maximize commuter services.” Laudable objectives all—but lacking in many important areas of investigation.
Frankly, I’m puzzled by the timing of the elaborate session the Village of Croton is sponsoring next Wednesday, January 27. Several immediate and inevitable questions spring to mind: Why wasn’t a workshop held before the contract was signed? The Village in the person of a present board member made a big stink about a mere gasoline-station canopy blocking “the view” and even went to the extreme of bringing suit to stop it. Why would the Village now want to consider erecting a multistory parking garage? The view is still there. Why is it no longer a consideration? If aesthetics and appearances are no longer a consideration, Croton can more easily erect and lease profitable giant billboards on public land along its highways.
Could the reason a preliminary workshop was not held before a contract was signed be that it might have revealed residents’ opposition to a multistory garage that would bring additional traffic to clog our streets and exhaust fumes to befoul our air? Interestingly, the initial guidelines for this study were issued on February 2, 2009, when the Schmidt administration held a 3-2 majority. One of the areas of investigation specified in the guidelines was “commercial mixed-use possibilities.” In Croton “mixed use” are fighting words in some quarters.
Frankly, I’m puzzled by a concept that envisions commercial opportunities in a multitiered parking garage with associated shops. Who is responsible for the unproven assumption that commercial enterprises would thrive in close association with a commuter railroad station that has two comparatively short periods of peak use, one in the morning and the other in the evening?
Passengers at major railroad terminal like Grand Central and Pennsylvania Station often have waiting time to kill between trains and are potential customers at shops that offer time-killing opportunities to buy last-minute forgotten items, to have a meal, to browse in a bookshop for a book or a magazine. But commuters at peak morning and evening periods at Croton’s station are usually in a hurry to catch a train or to beat the rush to reach a parked car.
Frankly, I’m puzzled by Croton’s concentration on increasing parking facilities as a source of revenue in the face of many contraindications. What about cutting expenses of the bureaucratic behemoth we have created to govern a tiny village of less than eight thousand souls? The nation is in a recession growing so deep it is being called “The Great Recession”—but only to avoid calling it “Another Great Depression.”
Moreover, the Town of Cortlandt is expanding its parking facilities at the Cortlandt Station—and parking is cheaper there. Metro North is cooperating by having more trains stop at the Cortlandt station. Plus, Croton’s two-level discriminatory pricing (residents vs. nonresidents) makes Cortlandt’s parking even more attractive and a veritable bargain.
Frankly, I’m puzzled by the lack of inclusion in the report’s specification of any study of the broader implications of enlarging our carbon footprint by encouraging automobile usage in what now may be a dying suburbia. Will the report acknowledge the planet’s peaking oil reserves, unstable fuel prices, the growing demand for oil by developing nations like China and India, steadily growing domestic and world populations that are making ever-larger demands for oil and for oil-based products, especially for oil- and gas-based fertilizers to increase crop yields to feed growing populations? How many of us will be driving if oil reaches $147 a barrel again?
The United States proportionally consumes more oil in relation to population size than any other country in the world. And 90% of transportation in the U.S. relies on oil as a primary or secondary source. Suburbia’s exclusive reliance on the automobile is both unsustainable and dangerous. Concerns about our fragile oil dependence have already caused a reverse migration from suburbs back to cities. Increased public transportation, bicycling and walking may yet become part of suburban living.
Frankly, I’m puzzled by Croton’s desire to hold a workshop before the contractor renders a report. The implications are that the contractor will listen to residents’ views and then tailor their report to suit residents’ input. This smacks too much of the slogan of Chicago department store magnate Marshall Field, who built a merchandising empire by instructing employees to “give the lady what she wants.” If the experience that resulted from the infamous questionnaire of bitter memory about residents’ desires for a community center is any yardstick, a workshop held before the report is presented can only result in another wish-list disaster.
We were led to believe that Tim Haahs Associates was preeminent in their field. It is not unreasonable, therefore, for them to give us their professional opinion about feasible courses of action for Croton, and let residents decide which, if any, are advantageous and doable. Thus, it would make more sense for Croton to first make the report available to residents and then hold a workshop at which the document can be critiqued to see whether we received our money’s worth. One might put this in terms of stud poker players: “Show us your hole card (the report) before your start raking in the pot.”
One final question: If the workshop now reveals that residents have no desire for a parking garage in any way, shape or form, will we be able to get our $97,000 back? Or will a giant parking structure of one kind or another be forced upon us in the same manner as the mega-disaster known as Metro-Enviro? There has to be a limit on what this village will do for money.
